


I Want To Let Go

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Play Along [29]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, F/M, M/M, band au, minor character death - offscreen, musician au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 01:56:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7738984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the comment_fic prompt: "any, any, you never know it's the last time until it's already too late" </p><p>The last concert of the tour is the Space Monkeys' last concert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want To Let Go

This was it. Last night of the tour. John’s nerves were buzzing, because tonight they were going out with a bang, were going out with electric. It was Rodney’s first time performing with the Space Monkeys fully electric, and John couldn’t wait to hear how Rodney sounded with the roar of the instruments behind him. The two bands gathered together backstage, in their circle huddle, gazing at each other.  
  
“Well, Snakeskinners and Space Monkeys,” Cam said, “it’s been real. It’s been a crazy ride, but we rode the crazy train together, and tonight, we’re taking it out of town with a bang. Now, what’s gonna happen on stage tonight?”  
  
John raised his voices with the rest. “Rock’n’roll!”  
  
“And what’s the audience gonna do?”  
  
“Lose their minds!”  
  
“And what are we going to do?”  
  
“Be legendary!”  
  
The words were like John’s mantra before each performance. Even as they revved up his pulse, they slowed down something else inside of him, that place where he found his music and drew it out, down his arms and to his fingertips.  
  
Cam said, “John, you make the boys and girls scream with your smile, and with your guitar. I wanna hear them scream tonight.”  
  
John met Cam’s gaze and held it, smiling at the warmth in Cam’s gaze. “Vala,” he said, “you rock like Jimmy Page. Take us to heaven, sister.”  
  
Vala leaned over and kissed Cam's cheek before she said, “Rodney, your hands are a gift from the gods. Bless this audience.”  
  
Laughter rose up, because Rodney had nothing if not a healthy ego, but he smiled and said, “Grace, you are the heartbeat of your band, and you never let it flatline. Give this audience a heart attack.”  
  
Grace beamed. “Ronon, you bring the funk and the soul to every song. Play that funky music, half-white boy.”  
  
Ronon threw his head back and laughed. “Hailey, that harmony on Saving Me is beautiful. Keep on harmonizing.”  
  
Hailey turned to Teyla. “Hey, you are the girl with the beat. Don’t let them stop the beat.”  
  
Teyla inclined her head gracefully and said, “Cam, you are a shining star. Shine on.”  
  
And then it was Rodney, of all people, who surged forward first, dragging Cam and Vala into a hug, and John joined in, and it was all one mess of limbs and laughter and buzzing energy.  
  
Evan said, “Space Monkeys, you’re on.”  
  
John, Ronon, Teyla, and Rodney, eased out onto the stage in the dark, their places thankfully marked by glow-in-the-dark gaff tape. The lights stayed down until Rodney hit the opening refrain of Hallelujah on his keyboard, and then a single spotlight shone down on him. With his golden curls and his graceful hands, he looked like an angel.  
  
Teyla began to sing, and another spotlight shone down on her.  
  
And then her chorus melted into the bridge on Hum Hallelujah, and while she and Rodney were crooning their softness, John hit his chorus over top of theirs, and the lights came up.  
  
He and Ronon hit the opening chords, and the audience screamed.  
  
When the final lines wound down ( _A teenage vow in a parking lot / till tonight do us part_ ), John had to pause for breath.  
  
And then he said, “Good evening, Chicago!”  
  
The audience cheered.  
  
“We are the Space Monkeys, and tonight, we want to rock your world. Getting us started were Rodney and Teyla on the Leonard Cohen classic, Hallelujah, and of course the Rodney McKay classic, Hum Hallelujah. This next song is brought to you by the reggae rhythms of Ronon Dex. Whatever you came here to escape from tonight, whatever sorrow or trouble or pain, we love you, and we thank you, and we hope you walk away from this show feeling better about life. Go now, you are forgiven.”  
  
John ducked his head and dropped straight into the opening riff, fingers jumping, and the audience cheered some more.  
  
John had read in an interview once, a famous rock star said that the third concert in a tour was always the best. The first two were the pancakes, were getting all the kinks smoothed out, and the third show was the best show, the most perfect, where the entire band was on and full of energy, because by the end of the tour, it was all rote, all robotic, and they were all exhausted.  
  
But John was pretty sure that the last concert of a tour was the best.

On the chorus of This Is For Real, John crossed the stage and sang with Rodney, to Rodney, and didn’t even care that he was looking at Rodney like Rodney was the night light ripping through his wicked world, because this was for real, and John knew he could make it last forever. Sure he loved Cam, Cam was a great guy, but he was in love with Rodney, and he was pretty sure Rodney was ready. John could take a chance.  
  
He grinned at Rodney and sang, “ _This is the best thing that I’ve ever had for real._ ”  
  
And Rodney smiled back at him, and his heart soared.  
  
The final song of the night was, as always, Bang Bang Boom, and John’s heart was banging in his chest when he and the others took their final bows.  
  
Backstage, Cam was waiting for him.   
  
“You were incredible out there,” Cam said, reeled him in close. Then he paused, searched John’s gaze. “Are you sure?”  
  
John nodded breathlessly. “Yes, I am. I’m going to do it, take a chance. And maybe you - you should do the same.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Vala watching them, but when he turned toward her, she was looking away.  
  
Cam shook his head. “My time for those chances is done. But you - you still have time. Go, John, and good luck.” He kissed John on the cheek, hugged him, and then turned to speak to Walter, who was waiting politely to have a word with him.  
  
John pushed through the crowd to where Ronon and Teyla and Rodney were in a fierce group hug. Ronon disentangled one arm long enough to snag John and drag him in.  
  
“We were amazing,” Ronon said. “We totally rocked that. We are going to be legendary.”  
  
“You know,” Elizabeth said, “if sales of your album continue to go well, you might just get to headline a tour of your own. In the meantime, once you’ve calmed down, we can talk about your next options for touring. There are a couple of other bands that have expressed interest in you opening up for them while the Snakeskinners go back into the studio for their next album.”  
  
John met Rodney’s gaze and smiled, and Rodney smiled back at him, and for the first time, there was no wariness or sarcasm in that smile. John ducked under Ronon’s arm, slid closer to Rodney.  
  
And then Evan said, “Rodney, there’s a message for you.”  
  
“In a minute,” Rodney said, reaching toward John.  
  
“It’s from your sister.”  
  
“I said, in a minute.”  
  
“Rodney, please.” Evan thrust Rodney’s cell phone at him. Rodney huffed and went to bat it away, but then he saw what was on the screen. His face went pale.  
  
“Rodney?” Teyla asked. “Is everything all right?”  
  
He shook his head.   
  
“What’s wrong?” Teyla put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
Rodney held out his phone for Teyla to see. John craned his neck to peer over her shoulder at the message.  
  
It was from Jeannie.  
  
 _Mom dead. Dad dead. Kaleb dead. Am pregnant. Come home._  
  
“I have to go,” Rodney said. He pushed a shaking hand through his hair. “I need to pack. I need to -”  
  
Evan handed him a plane ticket and his backpack, which was stuffed to bursting. “Go,” he said.  
  
Rodney grabbed both and headed for the door.  
  
“There’s a cab waiting,” Evan called after him.  
  
And just like that, John knew that the Space Monkeys’ best concert had been their last.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from All These Things That I've Done by The Killers
> 
> Song credits:
> 
> Saving Me - Nickelback  
> Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen  
> Hum Hallelujah - Fall Out Boy  
> The General - The Dispatch  
> This Is For Real - Motion City Soundtrack  
> Bang Bang Boom - The Moffatts


End file.
